She also talks about how she wishes she could talk to her mother because she senses her mother would understand what she's going through (was Sarah abused too? Is that why she can't admit to anything about Laura's abuse, because it would unleash everything she has suppressed about herself? Possibly, just offering as food for thought). What does Laura see when she looks at herself? Perhaps the different person she sees in the reflection is why we see Ed's reflection out of sync in season 3 part 13.
There are moments when she can't even tell if she dreamed something or it really happened. There are also many references to Laura's disassociation, she is very self-aware and writes about parts of herself being hidden away and disconnecting, how she thinks someone else might live inside her and she can see this other self in the reflection in the mirror and feeling like she was in a dream of some sort a lot of the time, and sometimes, obviously, a nightmare. One of the many, many shots of trees watching over the people in Twin Peaks. Perhaps this is where the birth of her twin self, her doppelganger, begins, and the reason why the portal to the Red Room is in the woods surrounded by sycamore trees. Note how she describes there is a "new hole" and a "new and smaller mouth" inside her. A poem about trees by Laura Palmer, age 13. we learn about Laura's experience with owls "owls can be big sometimes" and how they seemed to watch her, just to start how she met Margaret Lanterman and what they talked about her horse Troy, and her cat Jupiter the powerful presence of the trees and the woods - to name only a few. It's also a great source for possible "primal scenes" re the Find Laura theory, for eg.
There's an audiobook version available on youtube, Sheryl Lee reads it, it's amazing.
I think it's canon, it came out between season 1 and 2, and the author, Jennifer Lynch, was brought into confidence by her father, David Lynch, and Mark Frost, before she wrote it, so she knew the real story before we saw it in season 2, the film, and season 3 (however it was reshaped since season 2, if it was). If you haven't read it, you really should. The first time I read it was in 1990 so it was quite an experience to revisit this book as an adult, having re-watched the first two seasons since then, and also having experienced the film and an additional season multiple times, and having read numerous theories, especially Find Laura. Definitely don't read this while at work, it's NSFW.Ībout 4 months ago while looking for relevant quotes to put in one of my chakra posts, I read The Secret Diary of Laura Palmer again. This post details excerpts from the Secret Diary that deal with physical, emotional, and sexual abuse, so please don't read further if you feel you will be triggered or upset.
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